South by Southwest is upon us, and you know what that means: Names of bands you can’t pronounce, with punctuation or random letters thrown in for no reason at all. I sifted through the ungodly long list of bands and musicians performing at the festival this year, and I’ve gathered for you my favorite band names from the bunch. Some of these are bad, but some are so bad, they’re great.
I think my favorite this year is the one-two punch of Let’s Eat Grandma, a pop band from the United Kingdom, and Grandpa Death Experience, a garage rock band from the Netherlands. Seriously guys, what did your grandparents do to you? Leave them alone. I’m sure they’re very nice people.
Then there are the buzzwords: Things like “blind” (The Blind Owls, The Blind Pets, The Blind Shake, The Blind Suns), “future” (Future Islands, Future Thieves, Future Generations, Future Elevators [???], Future Punx) and “dirty” (Dirty Lungs, Dirty Projectors, Everyone is Dirty).
There were other themes, too. Behold:
Numbers (strangely enough, I couldn’t find a single band with the number 6 in its name. Why?): Ho9909, UNIIQU3, grav3y, 5ive
Where we’re going, we don’t need vowels: RSK TKRS, PWR BTTM, RVRB
Nerdcore bands all have good names: Crayondroids, Crunk Witch, Doug Funnie, Noa James aka Young Orca, Schaffer the Darklord
DJs: DJ Jester the Filipino Fist, DJ Lo Down Loretta Brown, DJ Mustard, DJ Osh Kosh, DJ Xanax, DJ Yoda
Our largest category, unnecessary punctuation:
- *repeat repeat
- #HOODFAME GO YAYO
- !!! (usually pronounced as “Chk Chk Chk,” but the band’s bio on Spotify says any “monosyllabic sound” repeated three times will do. Eye roll.)
- …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
- S U R V I V E
- Ty Dolla $ign (Why do you need both the words “dolla sign” and the $ in your name? We get the point.)
- ye. (no, not Kanye. Just ye.)
And then there are the ones that are just funny:
- A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie
- The Burning Peppermints
- Mail The Horse (not to be confused with Minihorse)
- Seckond Chaynce
- Champagne SuperChillin
- The Nimbus (I hope this is a Harry Potter reference)
- Die Heiterkeit (this means “cheerfulness” in German)
- Peanut Butter Wolf
- Wet Baes
- PIZZA TIME (this is my new favorite band and I don’t even need to listen to a second of their music)
- Planet Booty
- GoGo Penguins
- Gary With A Circle Around The A
- John Mills TIMES TEN (sooooooo extra)
Happy festing, y’all.